We are all familiar with how real estate agents advertisements use certain words and phrases to make properties sound a lot better than they really are eg "cosy" really means cramped and small, "rustic" really means a broken down shack etc, but what about advertisements and websites of brothels and agencies. Do they use the same language? Here is the definitive guide to what those words and phrases shops and agencies use really mean ...

Age: 19yo

Really means 24yo. Always add 3 -7 years to what they say.

breast size: E-cup

Really means C- cup. Always go down 2 cup sizes on what's advertised

Japanese

Really means .. well take your pick .. could be Korean, Chinese, HK, Singaporean, Vietnamese, basically anything except Japanese.

Japanese/Korean

Really means 100% Korean, but she can say "arigato" and "konichiwa"

Korean/Chinese
Really means 100% Chinese, but she can say "anyong haseyo" and "kamsa hamnida"

Hong Kong
Really means PRC, but she worked as a WL in HK for 1 month on her way to Sydney.

Singaporean
Really means Malaysian

Student
Really means she is a full time WL, is under 30yo, and is enrolled in a dodgy English course at a dodgy college for student Visa purposes only. She is not studying Law at UNSW that's for sure!

OL -Office Lady
Really means she is a full time WL, is over 28yo, and wears a skirt and a pair of high heels. She has never seen the inside of an office and is more familiar with bed sheets than spread sheets

Clubbing girl
Really means she is a full time WL, under 30yo, has a tattoo and a piercing, probably does drugs, and is totally unreliable - do not book before 6pm!

Girl next door
Really means she is somewhat plain and not very attractive.

brand girl
Really means she is the same as other girls but this is just a clever marketing ploy to make you pay an extra $50-$100.

Porn star
Really means she was in one of those CFNM (clothed female naked male) videos where there is a male stripper and a room full of women. She appears on camera for 15 seconds.

JAV star
Really means she is just a Japanese backpacker

GFE
Really means she has no idea what to do with a cock and will talk non-stop for the whole hour.

PSE
Really means the following ... "take shower", BBBJ - "you so big", cowgirl - moan, moan, moan, "you so big" (just in case you missed it the first time), missionary - moan, moan, moan, "me coming", doggie - moan, moan, moan "you come yet?", take shower, next customer please!

BBBJ
Look guys, all Asian girls provide BBBJ, its hardly a major selling point anymore.

DATY, COF, CIM, DFK
If the WL feels like it and maybe for a negotiable additional fee.

1 Hour $300
10 mins chat, 10 mins shower at start, 10 mins shower at end, 30 mins sex. Congratulations you have spent $150 to have a shower (with crappy water pressure) and have a quick chat.

Overnight $2000
1 hour of sex, 11 hours of sleeping. Well done! You are paying this gorgeous girl nearly $200 per hour to watch her sleep.

Sponsorship (negotiable)
Never go for this option unless you are a Saudi Sheikh or the Sultan of Brunei. Think about it, you are paying thousands of dollars to have a wife for a week - most guys would pay thousands of dollars to get rid of their wife for a week!

New to industry
Really means new to this agency or maybe new to Sydney - she has been working as a WL in China for 5 years.

Innocent
Somehow I don't think she is going to bring along her dolls and toy tea set and you will play dollies and pretend to have afternoon tea together . And I don't think she will scream and run away when you pull out your cock.
More likely she will grab it give you a BBBJ, DT, DD, COF, and CIM. If this is what "innocent" means then i am all for innocence.
Bring on more "innocent" girls

Short time only
Really means she is on loan from another agency owned by the same company

10 girls rostered today
Actually there are only 3 girls rostered and when you get there you will be told the other girls are "all busy", "all booked", "called in sick" etc. It was just hype to get you to come into the shop and horny you will settle for the 35yo chubby MILF even though you came in for a choice of 10 young slim busty girls

Penthouse
And now we complete the circle and go back to where we began - real estate speak. What does "penthouse" really mean punters? a 2 bedroom apartment without a view and yet another clever marketing ploy to take another $50 off you for the same gorgeous girl you could see in the shop.


Disclaimer: this post is intended as a piece of entertainment and humour only. It should not be taken as a factual account or criticism

It is not a criticism of the great shops and agencies of Sydney that consistently provide us all with gorgeous sexy girls from all over the world for our pleasure. And it definitely should not be taken as a criticism of the wonderful WLs and MLs who are all beautiful in their own way and give us all an hour or two of joy and pleasure in our otherwise crappy day. And if they are 22yo instead 19yo that's OK, or a C cup instead of an D cup that's OK, and if they are a genuine student or not -who the fuck cares, we are not paying them for tutoring.
Shops and agents are trying to earn a living in a tough and competitive market so they are entitled to use gimmicks and marketing. The girls are businesswomen, that's true, but they are also precious human beings with hopes, dreams and feelings and we are indeed privileged that they share an hour or two of their lives with us. We should always cherish and respect them.
Happy punting