Reply With QuoteTo me it just sounds like she's a nice person who is open and friendly with others and you have taken her nice and friendly ways as signs of her being into you.
General talk, non-WL related.
So I met this ABC chick about six months ago in a lecture. We are both late 20's. At first we didn't know each other that well, just got introduced briefly. I thought she was ok looking, nothing special, but I did notice her checking me out (not sure why as I consider myself quite average looking). For example, one time we were in a lecture and she was sitting a few rows diagonally in front of me, and that night I had my suit on, and she kept looking back at me.
During one lecture I sat next to her, and we were talking about my textbook and she kept pointing to my book but touched my hand in doing so. Like, many times.
About a month later, we decided to study together every weekend. During these study sessions, we would go for long lunches, and would take turns paying, which was good, because my ex always had me pay for everything, so this was a good change. She would always share/give me food from her plate, which made me think maybe there was something there.
I asked her out, and she seemed excited about it but said she would think about it and get back to me. She never did. From then on, she pulled out of our study sessions with various excuses. After our exams, we had dinner one night because it was my birthday. She bought me a $60 champagne. She told me something very personal, and she said she had only ever told one other person. She said she told me that because she trusted me, but added that she felt like she did not know that much about me. I thought everything was going great until she told me that someone had suggested to her that it was about time she found a boyfriend, and so she was meeting up with a guy the next day for lunch who had liked her for 5 years now. Looking back, I'm not sure if that was just a 'game' to see if I'd get jealous.
She also asked me what I was looking for, like if it was a serious relationship. She asked me what I like in a girl.
Walked her home that night and had a chance to kiss her, but was too nervous.
She went overseas after that, and when she came back she messaged me and we had lunch the next day. Again, she made efforts to touch my hand in some way, like asking for a high five while I was driving. We somehow got talking about engagement rings, and she said she'd accept a cheap ring as long as she liked the guy, and she winked at me as she said this. So I'm thinking, she's showing interest right?
By now I had noticed that, unlike in the past, she hadn't offered to pay for either the dinner or the lunch. Was she treating these as dates?
A week after, we had lunch again. I knew I had to do something because I was afraid of being "friend zoned". I gave her a pen engraved with her name as a gift for passing her exams. I waited all day for the right time to make a move but it never came around. When I drove her home, she thanked me for the day and I said it wasn't a problem cause I liked spending time with her. I asked her if she wanted to meet up next week and she said "we'll see". So somehow I got the vibe that it wasn't so good for some reason.
Two days later I call her and she doesn't call back, which was weird, because she had always called me back within 5 minutes in the past. Next day she still didn't call back and I started to panic - had I done something wrong?
So I asked my friend for advice, and she told me to go to her house with flowers and tell her I liked her, because I was being too indirect. I said that was too full on, but she insisted I do it. So after work, I bought a rose, and called her but she told me she wasn't home. Trying to go with my friend's advice, I tried to control the situation by saying I'd be there at x time, and she got a bit upset asking why I was being so persistent. I backed off and said I'll wait to hear from her.
I knew I had fucked up royally, so an hour later I called her up to apologise. I told her that I had wanted to tell her something on Saturday but didn't get the chance. I told her that I liked her, but that I wasn't sure if she felt the same way. I said I couldn't be friends with someone I liked. I said I had gone through it before, watching my friend meet a guy and later get married and I didn't want to go through it again. She said this was all a bit sudden. I said I wasn't trying to pressure her, but just to let her know how I felt.
She said she cared for me, and was sad to lose me as a friend. I said we had a lot in common, shared the same values and got along well. She agreed with all of that. I said she must've known at some point that I liked her. She said she guessed it when I gave her the engraved pen, because that was a bit too personal for her. So I guess that is why she didn't return my call those two days later. During the talk, she mainly remained silent and allowed me to talk. She said she was sorry if she hurt me, but I said she didn't need to be, because I wasn't trying to blame her. She didn't say anything either way, but I guess that's not a good sign. We said goodbye and I hung up.
So, after all that, I ask for the help of all experienced men here:
1. How bad have I fucked up and what are the chances that I could recover from this?
2. If I want to recover, should I wait for her to contact me, or should I wait a long time before contacting her?
3. Does anyone think she would initiate contact, or am I as good as dead?
4. Do you think an engraved pen is too personal?
5. Do you think it never occurred to her that I liked her before the pen? For me, if a guy asks a girl out, picks her up, pays for the meal, drives her home, that's a pretty good indication that he likes her. Especially if this keeps happening.
6. Does it sound like she liked me at any point in time? Or was it just friends all along?
7. Did I do the right thing by not even wanting to be friends? I honestly couldn't see how we could maintain being friends after telling her I liked her.
Also, would like to hear people's similar experiences about recovering from situations like these.
To me it just sounds like she's a nice person who is open and friendly with others and you have taken her nice and friendly ways as signs of her being into you.
You're totally fucked. PM me her number and name
I have thought about that too, but then what about checking me out in the lectures? Touching my hand? Winking at me about the engagement ring?Originally Posted by slangman69
Don't ask your friend for advice again in the future, that's the first thing I suggest.
Agree with slangman.
"Checking out" is pretty much just another way of saying "looking at".
Some people are touchy with everyone, even strangers.
The winking thing was probably just a weird/misunderstood joke.
I guess it comes down to the ultimate question of what is the difference between a girl who is friendly and one who is interested?
Also, in my experience, if I ask a friendly girl out, and she just wants to be friends, she will always suggest bringing along a 3rd person.
1.you haven't exactly fucked up, but there is no recovery
2.see no.1
3.see no.1
4.no, it's a nice gift
5.unless she's really clueless then yes, she knew
6.friends all along
7.yep, if you have feelings for you her you can't hang around and watch her be with someone else.
it would do your head in.you've done the right thing
Things can change. Maybe she liked you when you first met but things changed for her, maybe she met someone else, could be any number of reasons. Otherwise the story just does not makes sense.
Either that, or you misread the signals.
That is what a smart girl who understands how weird, clingy and obsessive guys can get would do in this situation, however the thing is that girls are often just as awkward and confused as you are and she probably doesn't think you are creepily obsessing over her like you are... She probably thought you were a good dude and enjoyed your company but never saw you as a potential partner, sexual or otherwise.
Honestly mate, don't dwell on things. It didn't work out, move on. Life's too short to be worried and self-conscious and trying to decipher what's going on in someone else's (let alone a woman's) mind.
May the Force be with you
She might be just playing with you to impress her friends or boost her ego.
The mixed signals game is a great way for her to exercise pussy power.
If you suck up to her now she will never respect you.
If you want to play her stupid game you need to let her see you with a girl who is better looking then her.
My advice find another girl who is more genuine.
Hi brother rage face,
I had a quick look at some of the threads you started in the past, some very interesting topics !
So I'm not too sure if this is genuine or you are just having some fun by pulling our legs !
But since you spent so much efforts in writing your OP, I am happy to chip in and play along :
First and foremost, ask yourself these few questions:
1. What do you hope to get out from this relationship if you and this girl ends up BF and GF ! Is she potentially some one you can get serious with or even settle down ??
2. Are you just trying to score her, you are persistent because its challenging and you could not get her easily ?
3. Is she good enough for you to give up punting or seeing other girls !
4. Are you likely to fall for another girl in the near future like 3-6 months ? Even if you are with her !
If you answer these questions truthfully and you still want her, then go for it and just do the simple thing - like tell her about these 4 questions and share the answers with her !
Just my two cents
Good luck
Cheers
Hmm, are you sure about this advice ...
^^This guy has no idea and is living in a fantasy world.^^
Interesting you would say that, here is something else you said:
http://forum.aus99.com/showthread.ph...236#post526236I would love it if I could get service from ladyboys in Sydney. I have been massaged by ladyboys on trips to Thailand and it is fantastic. They know exactly what they are doing, they know what you want and the service they provide is unlike anything else and cannot be matched by that of a "real girl"!
Playing with their tiny balls and adorable little pecker until they get hard makes your heart race... and the feeling you get from their breasts rubbing against your back and their sweet lil cock rubbing against your butt is simply brilliant!
I don't understand what's wrong with that? Are you against being sexually open minded and fetish?
Do you just want to bed her and have another notch on the belt or a genuine relationship
You accused me of living in a fantasy world ...
Yes, because based on your comments you sounded like one of those pick up artist/male rights lunatics who think and speak about women as if they are mysterious lands to be conquered or video games to be beaten.
I have no idea what any of that has to do with me having had some fun, exciting and unique experiences with ladyboys while on vacation.
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