Reply With QuoteA very generous disclaimer at the end Rooter, much more generous in fact than many of the practices above that you detail - though I had many a laugh before I ever reached the end...
We are all familiar with how real estate agents advertisements use certain words and phrases to make properties sound a lot better than they really are eg "cosy" really means cramped and small, "rustic" really means a broken down shack etc, but what about advertisements and websites of brothels and agencies. Do they use the same language? Here is the definitive guide to what those words and phrases shops and agencies use really mean ...
Age: 19yo
Really means 24yo. Always add 3 -7 years to what they say.
breast size: E-cup
Really means C- cup. Always go down 2 cup sizes on what's advertised
Japanese
Really means .. well take your pick .. could be Korean, Chinese, HK, Singaporean, Vietnamese, basically anything except Japanese.
Japanese/Korean
Really means 100% Korean, but she can say "arigato" and "konichiwa"
Korean/Chinese
Really means 100% Chinese, but she can say "anyong haseyo" and "kamsa hamnida"
Hong Kong
Really means PRC, but she worked as a WL in HK for 1 month on her way to Sydney.
Singaporean
Really means Malaysian
Student
Really means she is a full time WL, is under 30yo, and is enrolled in a dodgy English course at a dodgy college for student Visa purposes only. She is not studying Law at UNSW that's for sure!
OL -Office Lady
Really means she is a full time WL, is over 28yo, and wears a skirt and a pair of high heels. She has never seen the inside of an office and is more familiar with bed sheets than spread sheets
Clubbing girl
Really means she is a full time WL, under 30yo, has a tattoo and a piercing, probably does drugs, and is totally unreliable - do not book before 6pm!
Girl next door
Really means she is somewhat plain and not very attractive.
brand girl
Really means she is the same as other girls but this is just a clever marketing ploy to make you pay an extra $50-$100.
Porn star
Really means she was in one of those CFNM (clothed female naked male) videos where there is a male stripper and a room full of women. She appears on camera for 15 seconds.
JAV star
Really means she is just a Japanese backpacker
GFE
Really means she has no idea what to do with a cock and will talk non-stop for the whole hour.
PSE
Really means the following ... "take shower", BBBJ - "you so big", cowgirl - moan, moan, moan, "you so big" (just in case you missed it the first time), missionary - moan, moan, moan, "me coming", doggie - moan, moan, moan "you come yet?", take shower, next customer please!
BBBJ
Look guys, all Asian girls provide BBBJ, its hardly a major selling point anymore.
DATY, COF, CIM, DFK
If the WL feels like it and maybe for a negotiable additional fee.
1 Hour $300
10 mins chat, 10 mins shower at start, 10 mins shower at end, 30 mins sex. Congratulations you have spent $150 to have a shower (with crappy water pressure) and have a quick chat.
Overnight $2000
1 hour of sex, 11 hours of sleeping. Well done! You are paying this gorgeous girl nearly $200 per hour to watch her sleep.
Sponsorship (negotiable)
Never go for this option unless you are a Saudi Sheikh or the Sultan of Brunei. Think about it, you are paying thousands of dollars to have a wife for a week - most guys would pay thousands of dollars to get rid of their wife for a week!
New to industry
Really means new to this agency or maybe new to Sydney - she has been working as a WL in China for 5 years.
Innocent
Somehow I don't think she is going to bring along her dolls and toy tea set and you will play dollies and pretend to have afternoon tea together . And I don't think she will scream and run away when you pull out your cock.
More likely she will grab it give you a BBBJ, DT, DD, COF, and CIM. If this is what "innocent" means then i am all for innocence.
Bring on more "innocent" girls
Short time only
Really means she is on loan from another agency owned by the same company
10 girls rostered today
Actually there are only 3 girls rostered and when you get there you will be told the other girls are "all busy", "all booked", "called in sick" etc. It was just hype to get you to come into the shop and horny you will settle for the 35yo chubby MILF even though you came in for a choice of 10 young slim busty girls
Penthouse
And now we complete the circle and go back to where we began - real estate speak. What does "penthouse" really mean punters? a 2 bedroom apartment without a view and yet another clever marketing ploy to take another $50 off you for the same gorgeous girl you could see in the shop.
Disclaimer: this post is intended as a piece of entertainment and humour only. It should not be taken as a factual account or criticism
It is not a criticism of the great shops and agencies of Sydney that consistently provide us all with gorgeous sexy girls from all over the world for our pleasure. And it definitely should not be taken as a criticism of the wonderful WLs and MLs who are all beautiful in their own way and give us all an hour or two of joy and pleasure in our otherwise crappy day. And if they are 22yo instead 19yo that's OK, or a C cup instead of an D cup that's OK, and if they are a genuine student or not -who the fuck cares, we are not paying them for tutoring.
Shops and agents are trying to earn a living in a tough and competitive market so they are entitled to use gimmicks and marketing. The girls are businesswomen, that's true, but they are also precious human beings with hopes, dreams and feelings and we are indeed privileged that they share an hour or two of their lives with us. We should always cherish and respect them.
Happy punting
A very generous disclaimer at the end Rooter, much more generous in fact than many of the practices above that you detail - though I had many a laugh before I ever reached the end...
Excellent efforts brother rooter,
Very clever works, which means I am indeed very impressed with the post and envy how well you write and how smart you are and I do care!!
Thanks for the great entertainment which I really meant it!!
LIKE IT
LIKE IT
LIKE IT
PS. Now I have to spend all night to think about some totally new terms and descriptions to use in my rosters tomorrow - for all my favourite shops !! What The.......
Nude hj- b2b sometimes means panties stay on if the cunt is bleeding or if The ml doesnt like u
So even though u paid for nude hj she'll still take your $$ and give u a topless hj for the same price
Two thumbs up for this thread , good 1 bro
Lol.
This is funny bro.
I'd like to add one really funny, it might act as a fuse for someone who doesn't have at least a great sense of humor like yours.
Maybe in the least potentially offensive way.
"You know what, brothel/agency owners are the Cristopher Columbus of modern time, and have totally rubbished the real Columbus. Why?
Because a man making keyboard strokes is more than enough than heaps of sailor to find a new continent. Even faster than typing 'santa maria'."
"Do you know that brothel/agency owners have absolutely no knowledge of continents when they advertise?"
Hope some get it. that's just a joke.
If it starts some nasty comments, I'll edit it.
Or just ask admin to delete it.
Here is another one i just thought of.
Porn/JAV star
Really means she was in one of those CFNM (clothed female naked male) videos where there is a male stripper and a room full of women. She appears on camera for 15 seconds.
Hey guys, please feel fee to add more to this list ...
I am sure you can come up with more ...
Nice one bro. I hope everyone gets that its just a joke.Originally Posted by Jj999
I put the disclaimer at the end to really make it clear.
I think all punters will get the joke. And the shops/agencies and especially the girls (if they read it) would get the joke most of all
New advertising terminology according to rooter:
Here is a sample roster from:
Shelley, 40 G Cups, very strong massage and erotic service
Anna, good all rounder, Hong Kong style massage, slim and sexy.
Momo 19, 35 C Cups, student, cute and innocent
Penny 21, beautiful Thai girl, slim and petite, very sensual hands
Now incorporating brother rooter's standard:
Shelley, 40 I Cups
Anna, HK Mongkok style massage
Momo 15 yr, 35 E Cups, English language student 2 days a week
Penny 17 yr, Japanese/Thai
Ps. Is it illegal to advertise for a 15 & 17 yr old massage girls?? Would the council or police understand the + 4 years rule ?
Just my two cents !!
Cheers
Bbbj included
Cof-cim extra
Sti complimentary! just don't accuse me in forum when u have itchy dick!
Shelly will be 44 from G cups going under F cups, Anna will be from PRC just do 2 week massage course in hong kong before arrived in sydney , momo 19 yrs add 5 years will be 24 yrs 35 b cups, Penny 21 yrs add 5 yrs will be 26 yrs old will be real thai girl. Age always add 4 to 6 years and Boops going down 2 cups , hahahha i knew this . Funny thread guys
Nice one Al, I think I see where you are coming from.
The problem with my post is that if all punters factor in the adjustments I suggest to age, bra size etc, then the shops will factor this in too and exaggerate their ads even more. So, for example, if they have a 30yo with C cups they will think "well we would usually say she is 25yo and E cup, but the punters have wised up to us since rooter's post so we now have to say 19yo and G cup, that way the punters will assume she is 25yo and E cup", but if us punters know that's what they are doing then we will factor that in too .... ????? Its like a cold war arms race
From time to time , m been convinced that Alungor's full time job is really running MS business and part own a few shops..
.
BTW I met a outcall WL who matched the description quoted by the agent -- Uni student, pretty with B+ cups. the wl attended Master A....... course at UxX and graduated 9 months ago.. -- really pretty. In one of the session we spent 45 minuted worked on her assignment... what a memory... So all depends on the agent's business ethics...
Good drops...
Big Al is an International Man of Mystery
Regarding your WL who was exactly as advertised ... that's awesome, and all jokes aside most of the time the quality shops and agents deliver what they promise. If they didn't, the market and forums like this would put them out of business. In my personal experience i have found bluemoongirls, 5 Star, and Tokyo Model Co to be very reliable. I am sure other punters could give examples of reliable shops/agents from their own experience.
This is one of my all time favourite descriptions :
Innocent
Somehow I don't think she is going to bring along her dolls and toy tea set and you will play dollies and pretend to have afternnon tea together
More likely she will grab it give you a BBBJ, DT, DD, COF, and CIM. If this is what "innocent" means then i am all for innocence.
Bring on more "innocent" girls
But we can play doctor and nurse !This is one of my all time favourite descriptions :
Innocent
Somehow I don't think she is going to bring along her dolls and toy tea set and you will play dollies and pretend to have afternnon tea together
More likely she will grab it give you a BBBJ, DT, DD, COF, and CIM. If this is what "innocent" means then i am all for innocence.
Bring on more "innocent" girls
And we play twister every now and then !
Yamada uses very similar tactics
I guess it must be working thats why they keep doing it or business aint that great so they feel the need to remind members on a daily basis to come now hot girls waiting come right now now now now hot hot hot pleeeeeeasee!!!
Rooter, you are a fucking genius! This is so hilarious!!!
Yeah, speaking of INNOCENT, I think I got played by an "Innocent" girl the other day at Silver Fox, the name is Sara and that supposed to be her first shift in a RnT shop and my lil brother was supposed to be her first cock from a paying customer!! That's what Foxy told me anyway, and she is very pretty, has an innocent enough look and gee a nice big pair of D Cups and showing a very inviting amount of cleavage, so hey, I was happy to give her a test ride and sort of ease her into her RnT career, then I spent most of my time talking and explaining most of the ins and outs of the job to her and at all times thinking about her own benifits and protection. I told her she doesn't have to take clothes off until she is ready or comfortable with the customers, but HJ is a service she must provide and she could stay away from B2B service for the time being (BTW this B2B service has since been re named "Special Massage" as people are complaining!!, anyway). So of course I showed her a few basic techniques and she got me over the line with out too much difficulty - well, actually, it was kind of hard as there was no tits to see or play, so as I was getting close, I couldn't care any more, I just grab one of her tits over her clothes and shoot!! A very nice hand feel too. And I have to show her where all the wet and dry tissues and what to do to tidy up the room. WTF! Sara did promise that she will take her clothes off for me next time. and I was already thinking about the following Thursday.................hahaThis is one of my all time favourite descriptions :
Innocent
Somehow I don't think she is going to bring along her dolls and toy tea set and you will play dollies and pretend to have afternnon tea together
More likely she will grab it give you a BBBJ, DT, DD, COF, and CIM. If this is what "innocent" means then i am all for innocence.
Bring on more "innocent" girls
So you think, why am I telling you all these boring and stupid stuff, the reasons being, later that afternoon, around 6pm, I rang up Foxy to check on how Sara was doing (I was such a caring gentleman and big brother sometimes!!) and how the customers had commented, to my total surprises and shock!, Foxy told me Sara was doing very well, and two customers already had B2B with her and they were very happy. I thought, are you serious?? she is doing B2B already!! so what the fuck was I doing this morning !! what a stupid fool I was in believing she was that "INNOCENT" and accepted a HJ with no nude - I should have got that first B2B from her and gave those big boobs a good hard titie fuck and made a mess on them.
That really put a whole new meaning into the terms INNOCENT girl or NEW TO THE INDUSTRY !!
or was that my training which was so DAMN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD, that turned her from a novice to a PRO in a couple of hours, I don't think so.
It's OK, you guys can laugh all you want, sometimes I do silly things too..................LOL
Cheers
Without good customer services, there will be no business!!
「今時今日咁嘅服務態度係唔得架喇…」
Directory of all my After Reports:
http://www.aus99forum.com/showthread...ts-by-AHLUNGOR
This is what RnT is all about - photo thread:
http://www.aus99forum.com/showthread...T-is-all-about!!
It's those "innocent" ones you have to watch out for the most. Just like Humbert Humbert in Lolita, we are like lambs to the slaughter ... but what a way to goYeah, speaking of INNOCENT, I think I got played by an "Innocent" girl the other day at Silver Fox, the name is Sara and that supposed to be her first shift in a RnT shop and my lil brother was supposed to be her first cock from a paying customer!! That's what Foxy told me anyway, and she is very pretty, has an innocent enough look and gee a nice big pair of D Cups and showing a very inviting amount of cleavage, so hey, I was happy to give her a test ride and sort of ease her into her RnT career, then I spent most of my time talking and explaining most of the ins and outs of the job to her and at all times thinking about her own benifits and protection. I told her she doesn't have to take clothes off until she is ready or comfortable with the customers, but HJ is a service she must provide and she could stay away from B2B service for the time being (BTW this B2B service has since been re named "Special Massage" as people are complaining!!, anyway). So of course I showed her a few basic techniques and she got me over the line with out too much difficulty - well, actually, it was kind of hard as there was no tits to see or play, so as I was getting close, I couldn't care any more, I just grab one of her tits over her clothes and shoot!! A very nice hand feel too. And I have to show her where all the wet and dry tissues and what to do to tidy up the room. WTF! Sara did promise that she will take her clothes off for me next time. and I was already thinking about the following Thursday.................haha
So you think, why am I telling you all these boring and stupid stuff, the reasons being, later that afternoon, around 6pm, I rang up Foxy to check on how Sara was doing (I was such a caring gentleman and big brother sometimes!!) and how the customers had commented, to my total surprises and shock!, Foxy told me Sara was doing very well, and two customers already had B2B with her and they were very happy. I thought, are you serious?? she is doing B2B already!! so what the fuck was I doing this morning !! what a stupid fool I was in believing she was that "INNOCENT" and accepted a HJ with no nude - I should have got that first B2B from her and gave those big boobs a good hard titie fuck and made a mess on them.
That really put a whole new meaning into the terms INNOCENT girl or NEW TO THE INDUSTRY !!
or was that my training which was so DAMN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD, that turned her from a novice to a PRO in a couple of hours, I don't think so.
It's OK, you guys can laugh all you want, sometimes I do silly things too..................LOL
Cheers
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