Reply With QuoteQ: what does bjork do when she's horny?
A: she watches pjorn.
An elderly man outside Dubbo had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large billabong in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed
it up...nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the billabong, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a 10 litre bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the billabong, he heard voices shouting and laughing.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his billabong.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said: "I'm here to feed the crocodile..."
Some old men can still think fast.
Q: what does bjork do when she's horny?
A: she watches pjorn.
Q: What's the difference between White girls and Black girls?
A: When they ask you "Does this make my ass look big?"
White girl - You say " Of course not, darling"
Black girl - You say " Hell fucken yeah "
Q What do you call a man with a bird on his nose
A Cliff
Or a girl with a frog on her head?
A: Lily.
I used that line once to a so-named working girl. She fell off the bed laughing.
Q: What do you call a virgin on a water bed?
A: A cherry float.
Q: What do you get when you cross a WL with a systems engineer?
A: A fuckin know-it-all!
Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut?
A: Tug-of-whore.
and my favorite that have people laughing everywhere on the CityRail train:
Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.
Here is my favourite feminist joke ...
Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
A. It depends how thinly you slice them!
Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: What's the difference between a tyre and 365 condoms?
A: One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year!
what a way to burn rubber eh? hahahahaha
Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
Here's one for Ahlungor ...
Q. How do you make 2kg of fat look good?
A. Put a nipple on it!
Longest Nerve In The Body
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?
It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life!!!
If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your arse and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
Haha, that's a good one !Originally Posted by kickass
Directory of After Reports by wilisno
http://www.aus99forum.com/showthread...ectory+reports
Collections of frequently used Abbreviations
http://www.aus99forum.com/showthread...-Abbreviations
Aussie Pick Up Line
A bloke was standing at a bar when a beautiful woman walks up beside him.
So he leans over and says, "You remind me of my little toe".
She replies, "What? You mean I'm small and cute?"
"No", he says, "I mean I'll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I'm drunk."
On top of a black and blue little toe, you might be given a black eye to go with it too !
Directory of After Reports by wilisno
http://www.aus99forum.com/showthread...ectory+reports
Collections of frequently used Abbreviations
http://www.aus99forum.com/showthread...-Abbreviations
Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."
Q: What did the left nut say to the right nut?
A: Don´t talk to the guy in the middle, he´s a dick.
You think 7 years for a mirror is bad? Try breaking a condom.
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