Lala: A Punt Down the Drain
Person's Name : Lala
Establishment : aaescorts
Date of Visit : 21/6/15
Contact Details/Address/Weblink : 647 Elizabeth St Waterloo, AA Escorts 9310 1961
Hours of Business : 10am till late
Rates : $90/30 $150/60
Age : 30’s
Size/shape : Weight for height
Nationality or Ethnicity : PRC
Services Provided : Sort of kisisng and bbj
Value for money/recommend? : Total write-off
Howdy All,
This is a review of Lala.
In order to understand why I got myself into this stupid punt and walked out on Lala, I need to give a bit of history.
I have generally taken the view that it is better to select a average looking girl over a pretty one. My theory is the plain Jane type will always appreciate the attention you give her as she knows she’s pushing her barrow uphill. In contrast a hottie will always be egocentric and you run the risk of another dude taking her away from you.
I admit I have little empirical evidence to support this but I offer Yatchit Karisma and Mary-Jo Kaputski as cases in point.
In my first year of university I began dating Yatchit Karisma. She was a beautiful brunette with luscious lips, D cup breasts, hourglass figure and flawless skin. She was a looker and she knew it.
We couldn’t pass a window without Yatchit looking at herself in the mirror and preening.
When we were at a restaurant, or even on the street, she noticed men looking at her and often flirted with them. I was jealous and knew my days with her were numbered. I always had to prop up her vanity about her looks as the following exchange indicates:
Yatchit: Steven do you think I am pretty?
Steven: I sure do.
Yatchit: Very pretty?
Steven: Beautiful.
Yatchit: Very beautiful?
This went on and on and on top of it nothing pleased her. When I bought her a Calvin Kline wristwatch for her birthday she complained the ‘stones’ on the watch face were not diamonds. As I listened to this I thought “Who the fuck does she think I am? Daddy Warbucks or Howard Hughes?
Eventually Yatchit dumped me for Enrico Cammera. Everyone said he looked like Tony Curtis and he acted like Tony Curtis and fucked everything that moved. I suspect they got married and lived happily ever after massaging each other’s egos.
I saw Mary-Jo Kaputski as a plain Jane. She wore thick Mr. Magoo type glasses, spoke with a lisp and had a small spare tyre around her waist. She was loyal and when I gave her n album of Don Lane’s Greatest Hits, she was over the moon. The one fly in the ointment was her father was an executive with Pepsi Cola and they moved around a lot and she went to live in Skagway Alaska.
I said she was a plain Jane, but my mate Enondruis Belvin thought not. The following exchange illustrates this:
Belvin: Steven that Mary-Jo is really ugly.
Steven: She’s cute in her own way.
Belvin: If they had a beauty contest between my arse and her face . . .
Steven: What?
Belvin: The judge would say the one with the one eye wins!
Steven: Yeah.
So there you have it. My theory is to select always the less attractive of woman. I use this theory in punting so that if there is a line up, I’ll choose the plain one. I figure she probably gets less work and will work harder to please me, being grateful she was chosen.
One other thing to note in punting is I have had bad luck with LaLas. At Bellevue I had one who was downright rude and had a bad attitude.
Now we arrive at today’s LaLa I had a choice between LaLa and another WL named Nina. Now, Nina has had good reviews on various forums, but looked a bit shop worn to me. In the intro Lala was few years younger with a real energetic attitude.
I broke my rule about looks and LaLa’s and chose the prettier. BIG MISTAKE.
Lala is 30’s, rounded, not fat body, C cups, tattoo below the navel, nice thick lips and trimmed pussy.
In the room I quickly discovered LaLa wanted to do five things. One was to place my cock between her lips and barely suck. The second was to clear her throat every few seconds with that sound you hear when someone want to bring up flam You know that ‘harrak’ sound and she’s spit into a plastic bag on the bed next to her. The second was to rise her mouth out from a bottle she had next to her one the bed and spit into that plastic bag. The fourth was to simply spit into the plastic bag and the fifth was to wipe my and her mouth after a kiss and thrown it into the plastic bag.
Things she did not want to do included:
1. Having her nipples sucked.
2. Having her pussy touched.
3. Being in any type of situation where 69 or daty could take place.
4. Talking in a pleasant way.
5. Pleasing me. (At one stage she painfully bit my nipple and thought that was funny.)
After 35 minutes of an hour booking I’d had enough. I showered, dressed and went out to confront the Mamasan owner and at first engaged in a stupid conversation. I told Mamasan what I just told you and the following conversation ensued:
Mama: You could have chosen Nina, she’s the better one.
Steven: How would I know that. I haven’t seen either.
Mama: You could have aksed reception.
Steven: If you hire them they should both be good!
To make a long story short, when Mamasan discovered I did not want a refund she was more responsive and as I left I heard a ding=dong argument between Mama and LaLa.
Well, I’ve learned my lesson. I will stay with the shop worn plain Janes. It was a dud punt and as I look in the mirror I can still see the remnants of smoke coming out of my ears.
Well, got to go now mates.
Catch you again soon when I review Winnie from 142 George St. Hornsby.
Until that time folks . . .until that time.
Steven.
